The retention ponds are full, my yard is flooded... and here I sit waiting in line at parent pickup to get my kiddo from school as he makes the 1/2 mile hike from the back of the school to the front.
Not many people like rainy days. Me? I absolutely LOVE them! Except of course when I have plans to do something outside. And today, well it just isn't a day that I had those type of plans.. so it all works out GREAT! Haha! The bad part about though is that today I actually had the umph to clean and get all of my laundry done. I got the cleaning part done.. the laundry is another story. I got both car seats washed.. not dryed, and another load started in the washer... then the sky opened up.. and I had to run out there.. shut the dryer off, and close the doors to the laundry room. This is the sucky part about the apartments I live in. The laundry room is outside... blah!
This weekend wasn't all that bad. Saturday was absolutely horrible though. I had planned on taking the kiddos out to my aunts and letting them go swimming but around 11:00am I began getting a headache, and that headache turned into a migraine. I was miserable. Naseau, achy all over, hurt to open my eyes.. everything. It has been years since I have had a migraine as bad as that one. And I pray I don't have another one like that for many years! Sadly - this was also the day I noticed my wedding ring was broken. The engagement ring was completely broke in 1/2 on the band part. So of course, I was even more upset when I noticed that. This is however, a very good reason for us to finally break down and get that new wedding set we both want. Goin' to the Gold! Of course, since Paul worked all day Saturday.. we didn't get much "family" time in this weekend. Sunday Rick's father didn't show up YET again. So we all loaded up and headed to Gainesville. Went to Bestbuy to get my laptop fixed... grr. And then store hopped. I cannot believe that I went to 5 different stores, and not one of them have a good old fashioned phone for the wall. Ya know.. the one with the cord... blah! No one... not the 2 Wal-marts, Kmart, Target, or Best Buy that we went to. I couldn't believe it. I was in awe!
The work at home job I found is working out for me thus far! I really like it. It's easy... I can work as much or as little as I want to. But it's only worth it if you are going to make time to devote to it. It's definitely not a "get rich quick" scheme. If you want the money, it has to be worked for. I love it though. It can get boring.. but I have learned soo much in the 2 weeks I have been doing it. And honestly, I really haven't put much time into it, because I started it right in the midst of trying to organize my house and get my goals on track. But this week I plan on devoting a lot more time to it!! If you think you might be interested, shoot me an email at ixcalliexi@aol.com. I will tell you all about it, and if you're interested in signing up.. I can help you do that too!
April 17, 2009
Catching Up!
This past week has been entirely too hectic that I haven't even attempted to make time to blog. And that's crappy. I need to keep up with this. I made myself a promise.. and set myself a goal. Now it's time to hold up to those. I am the worst at starting something and never finishing it, and this is my chance to prove myself wrong. Ok.. time to catch you up on everything.
Easter Eve: Boil, Cool, Color. That was the rotation. The entire family gathered at Aunt Laura's house again this year to color eggs the night before Easter. We boiled at least 150 eggs, and colored them all. Sadly - only 104 survived till Easter morning because of cracks and deviled eggs... LoL. We all had such a good time! Until I left pissed off of course. Then my entire night was ruined. I just get tired of feeling like I have to live up to a person's standards. Some people have the world handed to them, others have to bust their ass to keep what little of a world they have on the right track. I ended up with the latter of the two. But I am not unhappy to say the least. I have busted my ass to get where I am today, to become the person I am today, and to have learned the things I know today. And because of that... I have a more accepting and understanding of life and reality than those who got the easy hand. And I am grateful. But when you have siblings who get the easy hand, and they are constantly making you feel like your not good enough, or that you need to live up to their standards.. at some point or another you are bound to break. And that's what happened. I broke. After holding it in for entirely too long... I finally snapped, and then of course.. leaving was what was best for everyone involved. Because had I not left.. I was liable to say some things to her that although they need to be said, are better left unsaid or at least one on one. Not with the entire family watching. So Paul, the kids and I packed up and headed on out. On a much happier note however, Caitlin and Jaymi had their prom tonight. With this being Caitlin's senior year, I know going to prom would be memories she would hold forever. Here's a picture of how beautiful they both looked!
Easter Day: The boys got out there and hunted for 104 eggs! Now last year, they couldn't find all of them. This year.. they found every last one. And with no help from the dogs - who were all eyeballin' them the entire time! The boys were soo excited to have Uncle Billy, Becca, Britnee, Richy (mom's boyfriend) and daddy all out there helping them! We did the whole breakfast with the entire family deal. This year we went simple - bagels, and breakfast cakes. It was just too much of a project last year with all the cooking. This years Easter was easy.. and good! =] Then the bad news arrived... 1/2 of the prom spent the entire night throwing up. And no.. they weren't drunk. Apparently 1/2 the prom went to Yomato's for dinner, and had a bad order of shrimp. That part of the group spent the entire night throwing up. Luckily Caitlin and Jaymi weren't in that group. Sadly... someone threw up on Jaymi's dress. =[ But they both survived, and were walking zombies on Easter! HaHa!
So I weighed myself the other night, for the first time since I started this blog. I have been watching what I am eating, but I haven't been working out or anything yet. And yes, I know I need to. It's just a matter of getting the umph to get off my ass and do it. And that.. well I don't have that. Haha. Anyhow, I lost 5lbs! I didn't take my measurements yet.. cuz I'm only doing that once a month. But I'm anxious to see how much I can lose by the end of April. Monday I will start my exercising at least 3 times a day. I am determined to get this weight off my body. My entire mind, body and soul is devoted to this!
Easter Eve: Boil, Cool, Color. That was the rotation. The entire family gathered at Aunt Laura's house again this year to color eggs the night before Easter. We boiled at least 150 eggs, and colored them all. Sadly - only 104 survived till Easter morning because of cracks and deviled eggs... LoL. We all had such a good time! Until I left pissed off of course. Then my entire night was ruined. I just get tired of feeling like I have to live up to a person's standards. Some people have the world handed to them, others have to bust their ass to keep what little of a world they have on the right track. I ended up with the latter of the two. But I am not unhappy to say the least. I have busted my ass to get where I am today, to become the person I am today, and to have learned the things I know today. And because of that... I have a more accepting and understanding of life and reality than those who got the easy hand. And I am grateful. But when you have siblings who get the easy hand, and they are constantly making you feel like your not good enough, or that you need to live up to their standards.. at some point or another you are bound to break. And that's what happened. I broke. After holding it in for entirely too long... I finally snapped, and then of course.. leaving was what was best for everyone involved. Because had I not left.. I was liable to say some things to her that although they need to be said, are better left unsaid or at least one on one. Not with the entire family watching. So Paul, the kids and I packed up and headed on out. On a much happier note however, Caitlin and Jaymi had their prom tonight. With this being Caitlin's senior year, I know going to prom would be memories she would hold forever. Here's a picture of how beautiful they both looked!
Easter Day: The boys got out there and hunted for 104 eggs! Now last year, they couldn't find all of them. This year.. they found every last one. And with no help from the dogs - who were all eyeballin' them the entire time! The boys were soo excited to have Uncle Billy, Becca, Britnee, Richy (mom's boyfriend) and daddy all out there helping them! We did the whole breakfast with the entire family deal. This year we went simple - bagels, and breakfast cakes. It was just too much of a project last year with all the cooking. This years Easter was easy.. and good! =] Then the bad news arrived... 1/2 of the prom spent the entire night throwing up. And no.. they weren't drunk. Apparently 1/2 the prom went to Yomato's for dinner, and had a bad order of shrimp. That part of the group spent the entire night throwing up. Luckily Caitlin and Jaymi weren't in that group. Sadly... someone threw up on Jaymi's dress. =[ But they both survived, and were walking zombies on Easter! HaHa!
So I weighed myself the other night, for the first time since I started this blog. I have been watching what I am eating, but I haven't been working out or anything yet. And yes, I know I need to. It's just a matter of getting the umph to get off my ass and do it. And that.. well I don't have that. Haha. Anyhow, I lost 5lbs! I didn't take my measurements yet.. cuz I'm only doing that once a month. But I'm anxious to see how much I can lose by the end of April. Monday I will start my exercising at least 3 times a day. I am determined to get this weight off my body. My entire mind, body and soul is devoted to this!
April 09, 2009
Water - Water - Water
In case you hadn't already noticed.... The present situation of our economy sucks! Really, it does.
In May of 2007 - right before the economy decided to take a dump... Paul and I decided I was going to become a "stay-at-home" mother. Now.. don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love my children and all the time I get to spend with them. But on another note - I also love money. And even more, I love spending it. With Paul's full-time job and his volunteer pay for working at the Fire Department... we make it. Just barely.. but we do. And to help out - I also babysit a little girl for a friend of mine. But this past week I found out that her mother is thinking abou tputting her in daycare so she can get more experience with other children. Now don't get me wrong - I think her mother has a very good point for doing it. But on my end.. it sucks! I have been trying to find a job for the past year. Not because I was tired of babysitting or staying home with my own children.. but simply because I want to get out of the house and interact with people more. I miss that. For 4 years I worked in a call center of over 40 reps, and the constant fast pace.. well thats just the kinda thing you get used to. But because no one is hiring, and the fact that I haven't worked in over a year doesn't exactly make me stand out amongst the crowd. The other night, as I was almost in tears trying to find anything that I could do at home - even part-time, I managed to run across something that took my interest. Not the normal "pay this amount to start" or "so surveys and get bookoo spam in your inbox". This one was different. It doesn't ay much - BUT.. it's a pretty easy job - and nothing different then I already do. I took all the training courses, filled out the "paperwork" and then played the waiting game for 3 days while I anxiously awaited to hear if I was one of the ones they would pick. And guess what...
Today I got that email!! As of 12:24pm - I have a job! And I get to sit my ass right in my own house. Make my own hours. And do absolutely nothing with my hair/clothes if I don't feel like it! Haha! I don't want to go and give any details on it right now though. I want to make sure this all ends up being legit and worth it before I let you in on it. I don't want to be known as another "spammer trying to jip you". Filling your head with lies or false hopes. Once I can prove to you that it's worth it - if it is - then by all means, I will share the info! =]
On another note - I colored my hair today. I was a dark-mahogany - which is basically a brown with a red tint for those of you who don't know. As of today I decided that I wanted something closer to my natural hair color - not that it was really all that much different. And I wanted highlights again. So I went to Wally World (Wal-Mart) and grabbed the hair dye. When I got home - that was my first task. And now my hair is redder than it was before. Tell me how the heck that happened!?! It doesn't look bad though. I am hoping it doesn't get any redder with the washing out of the sun. We shall see I guess! Haha! When Paul gets home - I'm making him pull my hair through the highlight cap while I work. He does an amazing job believe it or not. He's helped me dye my hair a few different times and only had 1 or 2 mishaps. Luckily!
I did one of those mirror checks today. Turned around and walked right back away from it. I absolutely HATE the mirror anymore. Mainly because I am soo unhappy with my weight right now. I have never been as big as I am - and always swore I would never let myself get this way. I have been watching what I have been eating though and doing the whole workout thing. My downfall seems to be soda. For more people its chocolate or cookies. No matter how hard I try - I just cannot leave my soda alone. And I know I need to. Before I had Rick, all I drank was water. All day, every day. Now I'm lucky if I get 2 glasses in. It's crazy! So starting Monday - I have decided that I am going to start MAKING myself drink at minimum 8 glasses of water each day. I don't care if I have to force it down. Water is good for me!!
In May of 2007 - right before the economy decided to take a dump... Paul and I decided I was going to become a "stay-at-home" mother. Now.. don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love my children and all the time I get to spend with them. But on another note - I also love money. And even more, I love spending it. With Paul's full-time job and his volunteer pay for working at the Fire Department... we make it. Just barely.. but we do. And to help out - I also babysit a little girl for a friend of mine. But this past week I found out that her mother is thinking abou tputting her in daycare so she can get more experience with other children. Now don't get me wrong - I think her mother has a very good point for doing it. But on my end.. it sucks! I have been trying to find a job for the past year. Not because I was tired of babysitting or staying home with my own children.. but simply because I want to get out of the house and interact with people more. I miss that. For 4 years I worked in a call center of over 40 reps, and the constant fast pace.. well thats just the kinda thing you get used to. But because no one is hiring, and the fact that I haven't worked in over a year doesn't exactly make me stand out amongst the crowd. The other night, as I was almost in tears trying to find anything that I could do at home - even part-time, I managed to run across something that took my interest. Not the normal "pay this amount to start" or "so surveys and get bookoo spam in your inbox". This one was different. It doesn't ay much - BUT.. it's a pretty easy job - and nothing different then I already do. I took all the training courses, filled out the "paperwork" and then played the waiting game for 3 days while I anxiously awaited to hear if I was one of the ones they would pick. And guess what...
Today I got that email!! As of 12:24pm - I have a job! And I get to sit my ass right in my own house. Make my own hours. And do absolutely nothing with my hair/clothes if I don't feel like it! Haha! I don't want to go and give any details on it right now though. I want to make sure this all ends up being legit and worth it before I let you in on it. I don't want to be known as another "spammer trying to jip you". Filling your head with lies or false hopes. Once I can prove to you that it's worth it - if it is - then by all means, I will share the info! =]
On another note - I colored my hair today. I was a dark-mahogany - which is basically a brown with a red tint for those of you who don't know. As of today I decided that I wanted something closer to my natural hair color - not that it was really all that much different. And I wanted highlights again. So I went to Wally World (Wal-Mart) and grabbed the hair dye. When I got home - that was my first task. And now my hair is redder than it was before. Tell me how the heck that happened!?! It doesn't look bad though. I am hoping it doesn't get any redder with the washing out of the sun. We shall see I guess! Haha! When Paul gets home - I'm making him pull my hair through the highlight cap while I work. He does an amazing job believe it or not. He's helped me dye my hair a few different times and only had 1 or 2 mishaps. Luckily!
I did one of those mirror checks today. Turned around and walked right back away from it. I absolutely HATE the mirror anymore. Mainly because I am soo unhappy with my weight right now. I have never been as big as I am - and always swore I would never let myself get this way. I have been watching what I have been eating though and doing the whole workout thing. My downfall seems to be soda. For more people its chocolate or cookies. No matter how hard I try - I just cannot leave my soda alone. And I know I need to. Before I had Rick, all I drank was water. All day, every day. Now I'm lucky if I get 2 glasses in. It's crazy! So starting Monday - I have decided that I am going to start MAKING myself drink at minimum 8 glasses of water each day. I don't care if I have to force it down. Water is good for me!!
April 08, 2009
Lumps & Menstration + No Sleep = Total Bitch
Last night I honestly didn't sleep at all. Don't get me wrong, I was completely exhausted. But right before going to bed I had mentioned to Paul that I was having a very sharp pain in my right boob. I get these once in a while, and then it will go away after a few minutes. Every time I have mentioned it to the doctor's in the past... they have said "It's just growing pains" or "swollen ducts from being pregnant". And would brush it off like it was nothing to worry about. So thinking they were the smart ones, I did what they said.. don't worry. Of course I always do self breast exams.. but those have always been hard for me because I have naturally lumpy breasts. But this time I'm scared. While gently rubbing the spot that hurt in hopes the pain would go away, I found what no woman ever wants to find when touching their breasts. A lump. Of course, I immediately freak. And well - there went all hopes of sleeping. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom and did the whole self breast exam, praying the entire time that I wouldn't be able to find it again. Maybe it was just the way I was laying. But no - there it was. Same spot... and right where that sharp pain was. And the pain is still somewhat there - which is out of the ordinary for those "random sharp pains I'm not supposed to worry about".
Growing up - everyone has different things that they fear. My number one, all-time, absolutely scared to death, don't want to have to deal with fear was getting breast cancer. Paul will tell you - I'm a big advocate for breast cancer.. and have pink ribbons everywhere on my profiles. I even want my tag on my truck and one on my window. And this all stems from just being scared to ever get it. Now I'm scared I may have doomed myself. I'm 25. My life should be just beginning. I'm not supposed to find lumps in my breasts. This just isn't supposed to happen to me. It's like I turned down this long dark road, came to a fork in that road, and there's no hope for turning back. I have been praying like crazy all night and this morning that this is nothing. Maybe just one of those "natural" lumps in my already naturally lumpy breasts. I'll even take "nothing to worry about" from the doctors again as long as that's what it is. But please Lord.. don't let it be my worst fear. I haven't even told Paul yet. I didn't know how to tell him. Goodness, I didn't know how to tell myself. So now my next step is to get back into the doctor. And I know they will send me for a mammogram. And I have no insurance right now. Paul just changed jobs and we are waiting for his insurance to kick in so that I can go back to the doctor for my annual. And to top it all off - I'm broke. Flat freaking broke. So I may have to wait for his insurance to kick in before I can even attempt to make an appointment for this. And that worries me even more. How come I can't catch a break? Ever? Just this once. Goodness.
And to top it all off... I started my period yesterday. So I have been EXTREMELY moody. And when you don't get any sleep, have a house full of screaming kids, hubby starts a new job & won't shut up, and your on your period... it's like being in hell. Can't anyone around here shut the hell up and be quiet for 5 minutes?!? Are you kidding me?? Not in this house they can't. *sigh*
On a better note - I think I may have FINALLY found a job working at home. I filled out all the paperwork, took the training, and then took the completion test to see how I would do in the position.. now I'm playing the waiting game. I am supposed to hear back from them by tomorrow. It's not much money... but its money. And I could use the money. Between bills, truck payment, child support for my stepson who spends 1/2 his time here (Grr), all of these ELEMENTARY school expenses and now Paul's gas money.. we are broke. And this job seems pretty easy - so I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it all works out - I'll post more details up here so ya'll can check it out too! A little extra money never hurt anyone, right?
Growing up - everyone has different things that they fear. My number one, all-time, absolutely scared to death, don't want to have to deal with fear was getting breast cancer. Paul will tell you - I'm a big advocate for breast cancer.. and have pink ribbons everywhere on my profiles. I even want my tag on my truck and one on my window. And this all stems from just being scared to ever get it. Now I'm scared I may have doomed myself. I'm 25. My life should be just beginning. I'm not supposed to find lumps in my breasts. This just isn't supposed to happen to me. It's like I turned down this long dark road, came to a fork in that road, and there's no hope for turning back. I have been praying like crazy all night and this morning that this is nothing. Maybe just one of those "natural" lumps in my already naturally lumpy breasts. I'll even take "nothing to worry about" from the doctors again as long as that's what it is. But please Lord.. don't let it be my worst fear. I haven't even told Paul yet. I didn't know how to tell him. Goodness, I didn't know how to tell myself. So now my next step is to get back into the doctor. And I know they will send me for a mammogram. And I have no insurance right now. Paul just changed jobs and we are waiting for his insurance to kick in so that I can go back to the doctor for my annual. And to top it all off - I'm broke. Flat freaking broke. So I may have to wait for his insurance to kick in before I can even attempt to make an appointment for this. And that worries me even more. How come I can't catch a break? Ever? Just this once. Goodness.
And to top it all off... I started my period yesterday. So I have been EXTREMELY moody. And when you don't get any sleep, have a house full of screaming kids, hubby starts a new job & won't shut up, and your on your period... it's like being in hell. Can't anyone around here shut the hell up and be quiet for 5 minutes?!? Are you kidding me?? Not in this house they can't. *sigh*
On a better note - I think I may have FINALLY found a job working at home. I filled out all the paperwork, took the training, and then took the completion test to see how I would do in the position.. now I'm playing the waiting game. I am supposed to hear back from them by tomorrow. It's not much money... but its money. And I could use the money. Between bills, truck payment, child support for my stepson who spends 1/2 his time here (Grr), all of these ELEMENTARY school expenses and now Paul's gas money.. we are broke. And this job seems pretty easy - so I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it all works out - I'll post more details up here so ya'll can check it out too! A little extra money never hurt anyone, right?
April 07, 2009
Don't copy Mommy!
Today has been a pretty productive day so far. Chilly day's seem to be when I get the most done. Not sure if it's because I like the cooler weather or if its just because I have to go to the bathroom every 2 minutes that my body tells me to get off my ass and get some things done. Most of the time I feel like I am the only person on Earth that goes to the bathroom as much as I do. And you would think.. going to the bathroom this much I would be thinner. Yea right! Paul gets so frustrated sometimes because we never make it through a store without me having to use the restroom. Now he just says as we walk through the store doors "Hurry your ass up and go!". I don't even have to say "I'm gonna run to the bathroom" anymore. Haha!
Today I managed to get my bedroom organized, the boys bedroom cleaned, the bathroom scrubbed, and the kitchen cleaned up. Then I sat on the courch for about 45 minutes and just stared at my living room. I don't know what to do with it. I love the way the furniture is arranged, but no matter how much I clean, put away, dust and organize.. it always looks so cramped. And I know its because I have all my scrapbook stuff out there, scrap-table included. But I really don't have anywhere else to put it. I mean.. we live in a 2 bedroom/1 bath apartment, with just over 1000 sq. ft. That doesn't give you much play room for hobbies when you have 3 small boys running around. Since my bedroom has a small walk-in closet, I am debating on whether or not to put my scrap stuff in there, table included, and just scrap in the closet. Easy way to hide it and keep it out of my face... but a clostrophobic person scrapping in a closet would definitely be an interesting sight! Haha!
After Austin came running out of the room with Rick's boots on - I glanced up at the clock and "Crap!" I should have left 15 minutes ago to go get Rick from school! Grab the kids, and out the door I went. I knew no matter what now, I would be stuck at the back of the line in parent pickup though.. so oh well. I made a stop at the drive-thru resturant and grabbed myself a drink. And within 5 minutes I had managed to spill the entire thing in my lap. Now I know you are supposed to drink the drink.. but I guess today I felt like wearing it. Now mind you... I still had NOT gotten Rick from school. And sitting there - now at the back of the line in parent pick up - was going to be at least a 25 minute process. Normally my truck is loaded with rags, paper towels, napkins... whatever it takes to clean up a spill. I am a mother to 3 boys - so that kind of stuff is ALWAYS within reach. But of course.. the one day MOM spills her 42oz soda in her lap.. there is nothing. Nothing at all. And its 45 degrees outside... and there I sat... with ice cold soda all over me. And what makes it worse is of course once I spilled the soda I was pissed cuz I REALLY wanted that soda! And "Shit!" slipped out! Next thing I know, I hear "Shit!" coming from the back seat! I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Thinking to myself "Oh no! Did Austin just say what I think he said?" "Nooo, Nooo.. don't copy mommy, honey... that's bad!" His response? "Shit!" And of course, no matter how bad I knew it was that I had just taught my son a bad word.. I couldn't help but laugh. Ah, the simple joys of motherhood.
Today I managed to get my bedroom organized, the boys bedroom cleaned, the bathroom scrubbed, and the kitchen cleaned up. Then I sat on the courch for about 45 minutes and just stared at my living room. I don't know what to do with it. I love the way the furniture is arranged, but no matter how much I clean, put away, dust and organize.. it always looks so cramped. And I know its because I have all my scrapbook stuff out there, scrap-table included. But I really don't have anywhere else to put it. I mean.. we live in a 2 bedroom/1 bath apartment, with just over 1000 sq. ft. That doesn't give you much play room for hobbies when you have 3 small boys running around. Since my bedroom has a small walk-in closet, I am debating on whether or not to put my scrap stuff in there, table included, and just scrap in the closet. Easy way to hide it and keep it out of my face... but a clostrophobic person scrapping in a closet would definitely be an interesting sight! Haha!
After Austin came running out of the room with Rick's boots on - I glanced up at the clock and "Crap!" I should have left 15 minutes ago to go get Rick from school! Grab the kids, and out the door I went. I knew no matter what now, I would be stuck at the back of the line in parent pickup though.. so oh well. I made a stop at the drive-thru resturant and grabbed myself a drink. And within 5 minutes I had managed to spill the entire thing in my lap. Now I know you are supposed to drink the drink.. but I guess today I felt like wearing it. Now mind you... I still had NOT gotten Rick from school. And sitting there - now at the back of the line in parent pick up - was going to be at least a 25 minute process. Normally my truck is loaded with rags, paper towels, napkins... whatever it takes to clean up a spill. I am a mother to 3 boys - so that kind of stuff is ALWAYS within reach. But of course.. the one day MOM spills her 42oz soda in her lap.. there is nothing. Nothing at all. And its 45 degrees outside... and there I sat... with ice cold soda all over me. And what makes it worse is of course once I spilled the soda I was pissed cuz I REALLY wanted that soda! And "Shit!" slipped out! Next thing I know, I hear "Shit!" coming from the back seat! I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Thinking to myself "Oh no! Did Austin just say what I think he said?" "Nooo, Nooo.. don't copy mommy, honey... that's bad!" His response? "Shit!" And of course, no matter how bad I knew it was that I had just taught my son a bad word.. I couldn't help but laugh. Ah, the simple joys of motherhood.
April 06, 2009
Who's the Boss?!
Growing up.. mom and dad were always the boss. What they said went... regardless of how you felt. In my house? I can't tell anymore. I'm outnumbered. Not just because I'm in a house full of boys. But because my husband is gone all day at work.. and here I sit in a house full of kids! I'm beginning to think my 3 year old thinks he's the king of the castle. If he doesn't get his way he will scream and pitch a full-blown fit until he does. I have tried the whole "sit him in timeout" "spank his fanny" "ignore him till he stops" "no treats if he misbehaves". None of it works on him! He's buh-buh-buh-bad to the bone! Haha Today at lunch I warmed up leftover ziti for the kiddo's and I (I know.. not great for the diet). Not only did he scream at me because I put it on a plate rather than in a bowl ... but he was NOT using a fork. He demanded a spoon. Normally this is where I would just ive in and give him the spoon. *sigh* Not today. This is when I decided we are going to try something new. I opened the silverware drawer, took all the spoons out.. and placed them up on top of the cabinets above the sink. Daddy's going to have to get them back down when he gets home.. cuz I can't reach them! Haha. He whined and complained for like 5 minutes. I went right on ahead and started eating, as did the other kiddos. When he realized I wasn't going to give in, he picked up his fork and PLATE.. and went on to eat his lunch. I think I'm going to have to stick to that routine now. Hopefully he will realize who is boss around here.
On another note, this past weekend proved to me that not only do I "feel" old... I'm beginning to show signs of aging too. I ran out of the bathroom on Sunday morning almost in tears to Paul. I found at least 9-10 grey hairs on my head. And no... not in the back, mixed in where you can hide it. Right smack on the middle of my head, right where my hair parts. So I will definitely be coloring my hair sometime within the next week. I told Paul I was going to go blonde so they don't show. He laughed at me of course for making such a big deal out of a "few" grey hairs. Blonde is definitely not something I will do though. I don't think I would wear it well.. especially with my weight being the way it is right now.
On another note, this past weekend proved to me that not only do I "feel" old... I'm beginning to show signs of aging too. I ran out of the bathroom on Sunday morning almost in tears to Paul. I found at least 9-10 grey hairs on my head. And no... not in the back, mixed in where you can hide it. Right smack on the middle of my head, right where my hair parts. So I will definitely be coloring my hair sometime within the next week. I told Paul I was going to go blonde so they don't show. He laughed at me of course for making such a big deal out of a "few" grey hairs. Blonde is definitely not something I will do though. I don't think I would wear it well.. especially with my weight being the way it is right now.
April 05, 2009
Making the Decision
I have tried this whole blog thing before, and completely failed at it. But I am beginning to make some changes in my life that are long overdue. This blog is going to help me with a handful of those changes. And yes, keeping up with this blog is definitely one of them! Haha!
So here is a list of the changes I am determined to make, starting first thing tomorrow morning.
.: Lose the Weight :. When I graduated high school - I was a size 12. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. After my pregnancy.. I was a size 16. But by the time Rick was 6 months old.. I was back into a 12.. and I was HAPPY! Then I met Paul. And I got comfortable. And when women get comfortable with a man, what happens? Weight happens. And slowly but surely I worked my way back up to a 16. I was still content though. I mean, I wanted to lose the weight.. but I wasn't uncomfortable with the way I looked. Then I got pregnant with Austin.. and the gates of hell opened up. He was 1 oz. shy of being 10lbs. And I was HUGE to say the least. I knew I was not getting back into my size 16 shorts after I had him.. and I was right. After Austin arrived... I was in a size 18. Nothing more, nothing less. And gradually... the weight just kept coming. And now.. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm a size 22.. barely. But I'm there. I REFUSE to make it to a 24. I want my size 12 back.. but I will settle for a 16 and be happy. I hate looking in the mirror at myself. I'm just miserable. And I want this to change. Tonight I took pictures of the way I look in my boy shorts and sports bra, and did all the measurements and weight. Tomorrow I begin the workouts and eating right. I'm 5'11, so I wear it better than I would if I was shorter.. but I'm still not happy. And although Paul says he loves me for me.. I hate undressing in front of my own husband.. and that's not the way things should be.
.: Stop Biting My Nails :. I know, I know.. it's gross. I did it all through high school and my pregnancy with Rick (hmm.. I wonder why). After I had Rick.. I stopped. I was constantly getting my nails done, and my real nails had grown to the full length of the tips they were putting on. Then I started to get stressed with work and school. (Working 50+ hours, taking 6 classes, and being a single mother to a infant.) And off the nails went. Back to the stubs. One of my 2009 New Years resolutions was to stop biting my nails again. And I achieved that goal! I just recently - like 3 weeks ago - began biting them again. I was getting annoyed because they were soo thin and breaking like crazy.. that I just started biting them all off. And well.. now I'm back to stubs... 3 weeks and counting... and I HATE it! I want my long nails back. The pretty nail polish. The beautiful hands. *sigh* I'm impatient! LoL
.: Find a Job :. My god this is such a dreadful task. In May 2007 - I left my job because of all the crap that was going on there, the way I was being treated and used, and because Paul's mother decided on a moments notice that she wasn't going to babysit Austin anymore. Since then, I have been a stay at home mother. I love it. BUT - I love working. The chance to get out of the house, have interactions with people. Fine time to decide I want/need to return to work though. Right when the economy is crap. Personally.. I want to go back to work soo bad that I am willing to work at McDonalds. But they don't pay enough for me to cover daycare expenses and still have money coming home.. so I won't do it. I need to find something making at least $9/hr. Tomorrow.. I'm applying at a bank. Not somewhere I would prefer to work.. but if it brings money in.. I'll do it. Haha
.: Enjoy Hobbies :. I love scrapbooking. Everyone knows this. But I also love writing poetry, and drawing. These are all hobbies that I have let slide. I used to write poetry every day... same thing with drawing and scrapbooking. Now it just seems like I don't have the time to do it. But I know that I do.. it's just a matter of me not feeling like doing anything. I have no umph, no imagination lately. To change this.. I'm going to do 1 hobby 3 days a week. Then the next week.. I'm going to do another hobby for 3 days. And the 3rd week... the same thing! That way I can get back in the groove of all 3... and mix and match them whenever I feel the want!
.: Change Contact Habits :. I am HORRIBLE at keeping in contact with my family and friends. Absolutely horrible! I figured Myspace and Facebook, and even messaging programs would help.. but NOOOO. I find myself invisible online, or only emailing/commenting them when they have hit me up first. And family/friends who don't have it? Well.. I never call, write or vist. It's awful, I know. I never used to be like this. I guess having a family and getting wrapped up in all of that is what has happened to me. But NO, I don't consider it an excuse. I know I'm crappy.. and yes I want to change this. And starting today.. I'm going to do just that! So if you start getting random emails from me.. don't be suprised. Consider this your warning! Haha!
.: More Family Time :. With Paul constantly working, my family doesn't get much "family time" in. We all eat in separate rooms, watch different TV's, etc. I hate this. I have from the get-go. But there wasn't much I could do about it. Paul wasn't getting home until almost 7:00 each night, and by that time the boys had eaten dinner and I was getting them ready for bed. I would be exhausted from dealing with all the kids all day... and well I just didn't want to be bothered, and neither did Paul from working all day. With Paul's new job though.. we are going to be able to change this a little bit. I'm excited! I love my family - they are my life. And I want to show them how much they mean to me, every second of every day. Now.. I know we still need our space.. but we need more time to do things together too. So we are going to start doing "family things" every other night. Even if it's just coloring in a book together. Or watching a movie. It's the fact that we are all together.. doing something TOGETHER. That's the only thing that matters to me! Rick seems just as excited as I am about it! Haha!
Ok - now I'm off to bed. Have to get up early and put all these goals into action!!
So here is a list of the changes I am determined to make, starting first thing tomorrow morning.
- Maintain this blog.
- Lose the weight.
- Stop biting my nails.... AGAIN!
- Find a job.
- Enjoy hobbies.
- Change contact habits.
- More family time.
.: Lose the Weight :. When I graduated high school - I was a size 12. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. After my pregnancy.. I was a size 16. But by the time Rick was 6 months old.. I was back into a 12.. and I was HAPPY! Then I met Paul. And I got comfortable. And when women get comfortable with a man, what happens? Weight happens. And slowly but surely I worked my way back up to a 16. I was still content though. I mean, I wanted to lose the weight.. but I wasn't uncomfortable with the way I looked. Then I got pregnant with Austin.. and the gates of hell opened up. He was 1 oz. shy of being 10lbs. And I was HUGE to say the least. I knew I was not getting back into my size 16 shorts after I had him.. and I was right. After Austin arrived... I was in a size 18. Nothing more, nothing less. And gradually... the weight just kept coming. And now.. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm a size 22.. barely. But I'm there. I REFUSE to make it to a 24. I want my size 12 back.. but I will settle for a 16 and be happy. I hate looking in the mirror at myself. I'm just miserable. And I want this to change. Tonight I took pictures of the way I look in my boy shorts and sports bra, and did all the measurements and weight. Tomorrow I begin the workouts and eating right. I'm 5'11, so I wear it better than I would if I was shorter.. but I'm still not happy. And although Paul says he loves me for me.. I hate undressing in front of my own husband.. and that's not the way things should be.
.: Stop Biting My Nails :. I know, I know.. it's gross. I did it all through high school and my pregnancy with Rick (hmm.. I wonder why). After I had Rick.. I stopped. I was constantly getting my nails done, and my real nails had grown to the full length of the tips they were putting on. Then I started to get stressed with work and school. (Working 50+ hours, taking 6 classes, and being a single mother to a infant.) And off the nails went. Back to the stubs. One of my 2009 New Years resolutions was to stop biting my nails again. And I achieved that goal! I just recently - like 3 weeks ago - began biting them again. I was getting annoyed because they were soo thin and breaking like crazy.. that I just started biting them all off. And well.. now I'm back to stubs... 3 weeks and counting... and I HATE it! I want my long nails back. The pretty nail polish. The beautiful hands. *sigh* I'm impatient! LoL
.: Find a Job :. My god this is such a dreadful task. In May 2007 - I left my job because of all the crap that was going on there, the way I was being treated and used, and because Paul's mother decided on a moments notice that she wasn't going to babysit Austin anymore. Since then, I have been a stay at home mother. I love it. BUT - I love working. The chance to get out of the house, have interactions with people. Fine time to decide I want/need to return to work though. Right when the economy is crap. Personally.. I want to go back to work soo bad that I am willing to work at McDonalds. But they don't pay enough for me to cover daycare expenses and still have money coming home.. so I won't do it. I need to find something making at least $9/hr. Tomorrow.. I'm applying at a bank. Not somewhere I would prefer to work.. but if it brings money in.. I'll do it. Haha
.: Enjoy Hobbies :. I love scrapbooking. Everyone knows this. But I also love writing poetry, and drawing. These are all hobbies that I have let slide. I used to write poetry every day... same thing with drawing and scrapbooking. Now it just seems like I don't have the time to do it. But I know that I do.. it's just a matter of me not feeling like doing anything. I have no umph, no imagination lately. To change this.. I'm going to do 1 hobby 3 days a week. Then the next week.. I'm going to do another hobby for 3 days. And the 3rd week... the same thing! That way I can get back in the groove of all 3... and mix and match them whenever I feel the want!
.: Change Contact Habits :. I am HORRIBLE at keeping in contact with my family and friends. Absolutely horrible! I figured Myspace and Facebook, and even messaging programs would help.. but NOOOO. I find myself invisible online, or only emailing/commenting them when they have hit me up first. And family/friends who don't have it? Well.. I never call, write or vist. It's awful, I know. I never used to be like this. I guess having a family and getting wrapped up in all of that is what has happened to me. But NO, I don't consider it an excuse. I know I'm crappy.. and yes I want to change this. And starting today.. I'm going to do just that! So if you start getting random emails from me.. don't be suprised. Consider this your warning! Haha!
.: More Family Time :. With Paul constantly working, my family doesn't get much "family time" in. We all eat in separate rooms, watch different TV's, etc. I hate this. I have from the get-go. But there wasn't much I could do about it. Paul wasn't getting home until almost 7:00 each night, and by that time the boys had eaten dinner and I was getting them ready for bed. I would be exhausted from dealing with all the kids all day... and well I just didn't want to be bothered, and neither did Paul from working all day. With Paul's new job though.. we are going to be able to change this a little bit. I'm excited! I love my family - they are my life. And I want to show them how much they mean to me, every second of every day. Now.. I know we still need our space.. but we need more time to do things together too. So we are going to start doing "family things" every other night. Even if it's just coloring in a book together. Or watching a movie. It's the fact that we are all together.. doing something TOGETHER. That's the only thing that matters to me! Rick seems just as excited as I am about it! Haha!
Ok - now I'm off to bed. Have to get up early and put all these goals into action!!
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